Style & the Menopause
Who’s had the menopause, going through it or starting to feel peri-menopausal? It’s such a weird time of our lives and yet I am so perplexed as to why when half the entire human race will experience some form of it, it’s still a taboo subject.
Is it that it stems from societies view of women getting older? That we’ve always been conditioned to not celebrate the aging process, so to talk about the menopause is in itself admitting our impending old age and therefore we try to hide it? In Jeanette Kings book ‘Discourses of Ageing in Fiction and Feminism: The Invisible Woman’ she highlights the fact that society has double standards when it comes to how older men are perceived in comparison to women and talks about how historically our value has been determined by beauty, sexuality and fertility. All things associated with youth, so when our youth begins to fade, so does our worth.
I recently discovered that whales are the only other creature that go through menopause. The elder whales become the heads of the pods and they pass on their wisdom and knowledge to the others. The rest of the pod rely on them for guidance through their experience. Wouldn’t this be wonderful if society treated older women like this instead of writing them off to the invisibility scrap heap.
For those of us who are experiencing the symptoms of menopause, what we wear can have a huge impact on our comfort, discomfort and ultimately how we feel about ourselves.
But… and this is a huge but. We don’t have to ‘dress for the menopause’. We don’t get to a certain age and have to suddenly start dressing differently. This in itself is putting ourselves in a box. We can absolutely still wear what we love and want to wear. But it’s just about understanding our bodies and keeping up to date with any changes that are occurring.
I’m a completely different shape to what I was in my 20s. I’m about 3 sizes bigger and 2 stone heavier and although i’m still coming to terms with that and struggling with it sometimes, I know it’s a natural and normal process and hormones are just arseholes!
If we understand our new body size and shape, we can easily navigate our own style during menopause. After all we’ve had decades to decide what looks and feels good on us. I truly believe that the confidence we feel when we wear something that makes us feel and look good, shines out of us like a beacon and this is when women can own the room.
So how do we navigate this during menopause?
Firstly a good idea is to look at what you already have in your wardrobes. Throw out anything that isn’t serving you anymore. Get rid of tight, uncomfortable, cheap fabric clothing and edit your wardrobe into a clear concise selection of pieces that you love to wear. Make sure you have regular bra fittings and invest in good quality underwear that fits you perfectly. Once you have the basics you can start building by adding in what you need.
Opt for breathable light fabrics that you can layer. This will make having a hot flush more bearable and easier to manage. Especially if you can easily take off a layer or two when in the midst of a volcano erupting inside you.
Try layering with thin knitwear, lightweight blazers and jackets and scarves. Things that can be easily removed when needed. If you’re a jewellery lover, necklaces can make you sweat and feel the heat even more, so opt for a statement earring, bracelet or rings instead. If you have hair any longer than the nape of your neck, buy some pretty hair pins, scrunchies and hairties so you can easily get that hair off your neck without compromising on style. I always keep my gorgeous gold hairpin on me so I can quickly whip my hair up when needed.
Stick to 100% natural fabrics like cotton, linen, bamboo, breathable lightweight wool like merino and silk (although silk is lightweight and breezy, it can be uncomfortable in the heat, so wear with caution). Rayon and lyocell are great fabrics as well as high-tech sweat wicking fabrics. Cheap synthetics like polyester and nylon are ones to avoid although some mixes used for exercise wear can be a good option too.
But I really want to say that you can absolutely wear what EVERYONE else is wearing, you just need to pay more attention to fabrics and fit to make the style work for you and your body.
Wear a pair of wide leg trousers with a loose oversized shirt. Unbutton at the neck to allow air flow. Add heels or trainers and maybe a neck scarf that can be easily removed if needed, and you’ll be ready for the office.
Wear jeans, a simple top, a lightweight blazer/ cardi or scarf and boots or simple court shoes or trainers for cool weekend wear. Add a big shopper or basket bag so that if you take off any layers, you can easily slip it into your bag.
A wrap dress can be a great option if you’re navigating the weight gain that can come with menopause. The v-neck helps to open up the neck area and the wrap style is great if you’re self conscious about the belly area. Equally a shirt dress is another great option as you can leave it unbuttoned at the neck and then belt it with contrasting belt to give shape. (this is a good layering technique as the belt can easily be taken off if you feel the heat rising or are feeling bloated).
Linen is your friend as it’s breathable, comfortable and perfect in the heat. This summer linen is everywhere from matching two pieces to beautiful dresses. Team with chunky dad sandals or flip flops to keep you cool and comfy all day. Or alternatively team a linen suit with heels or mules for a smart but cool office look.
Nighttime can be the worst time for hot flushes and there’s lots of companies that sell garments specifically to keep you cool such as Cucumber Clothing, Fifty One Apparel, Dags Mejan and Become. But all you really need is something that lets your skin breathe and is lightweight. Opt for 100% natural fabrics like cotton, bamboo, merino or linen like the ones shown above. Or you can always go commando! Make sure you are sleeping in 100% cotton, bamboo or linen bed sheets too as these can regulate your temperature. Your mattress may be something to look at too. The memory foam mattresses can be really hot so try a mattress topper that has cooling properties in it. It will really help.
In short, the menopause and peri-menopause is a bitch of a time, but it needn’t define or change us. I’m just starting my journey so my periods are all over the place and the sweats are getting noticeable. But i’m determined that I will not become invisible. Fashion is for everyone whatever their age and for those of us in our 40s and beyond, we have the knowledge from past trends, the experience from trialing different looks and the confidence to wear whatever the hell we like!
I’m going to ‘be more whale’. How about you?
